My ex got pregnant despite me being out of town. She told me her friend Angela visited her and that she was going to give birth to someone who would be historically significant. The two of them told me that they believed real father was God. I wanted a paternity test, but my ex said God didn't want much unnecessary media attention for our son, so he forged the DNA to not be traceable to Him and the test would be a waste of money.
A few months later, we decided to go on vacation just to escape things for some time and stopped at a Motel 6. Her water broke, but my car wouldn't start. So, she gave birth in the lobby.
While were were in the lobby, three guys came over. They said they saw flashing lights and heard sirens. Don't remember if they were being chased or were chasing the lights, but that's what led them to us.
There was a big black guy who looked like a pimp, a hispanic guy with lot of jewelry and a white guy who looked like Bernie Madoff. They all offered presents for the child that seemed kind of weird -- like some strange mystical rock, some ancient herbs and some fancy paper with words I don't understand -- but whatever.
Either way, trippy story, huh? Everyone rolls their eyes when I tell them.