A few days ago I was sitting on my couch just doing Facebook/reddit things. Now mind you, the day before I had already had 3 spider run-ins and 2 centipede sightings, and as an arachnophobic... Just freaking nope.
So I'm sitting at my computer and I see my cat waltz by. He jumps up to the back of the couch, like he always does, and sits himself down behind me. I don't really look back where because, well, reddit. Then I see some movement to my left.
"Don't worry" I think to myself "that's just my cat's tail swishing back and-
My cat makes a cute adorable meow... to my right.
Whatever is moving to my left is not my cat.
I slowly horror-movie-reveal turn my head and look down, and there is a centipede about 3 inches long crawling its way across my chest. I start making "NNGGGHAAARghhaababaAAAAHHNOOONONONO" noises as this disgusting little critter crawls to the center of my chest, stops, looks up as if to indicate a speed dash TOWARDS MY FACE, and then continues across my chest. It then crawls under my armpit to my back.
WHERE I CAN'T SEE IT.
Thankfully I was wearing a dress shirt, which I literally ripped off and sacrificed to save myself, leaving it and the centipede on the couch. I haven't sat on that couch in about half a week, and I go around the living room when I can.
EDIT: TLDR Centipede crawled across a very distressed arachnophobic.